Letting go of someone or a relationship is easier said than done. Whether you initiated the breakup or someone suddenly left your life, breakups can leave lasting marks on your conscience and haunt you for many months to come. While there is no definite way to get over the pain, here is a guide on how to let go of someone.
What Does “Letting Go” Mean?
Letting go means being able to move on. It does not necessarily mean you have completely forgotten about your past relationship because some parts cannot be permanently erased from your memory.
In a way, letting go means being at peace with yourself and accepting what happened because sometimes, nothing lasts forever. Letting go also means that you are ready to move on and try out new relationships.
Why Is It So Difficult to Let Someone Go?
When it comes to letting go of someone, feelings of sorrow or anger can be so overwhelming that you cannot think or act rationally. Instead, these feelings may take over your actions and prevent you from moving on with your life. When you open your heart to someone, you give them your trust and the responsibility of being loyal to you.
When they shatter that trust by taking advantage of you, leaving, or breaking up, it can leave an emotional scar. It means that you’ve lost someone you viewed as a trustworthy friend or a relationship you thought will last forever.
Additionally, it is natural to hold onto memories when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. Letting go of someone can be extremely difficult because you’re forced to accept that this person won’t come back. You also say goodbye to shared happy moments.
Why Should You Let Go of Someone?
If you have tried everything in your power to make things work out but realize that the relationship is making you unhappy, then it’s time to let go. When loving someone, you want what’s best for them, and if they don’t share the same feelings, it can leave you feeling miserable and empty inside. Letting go will help you rebuild your life after a breakup.
The reasons relationships crumble include:
• Inability to meet each other’s expectations
• Change of interests, lifestyles, and goals
• Little to no communication
• Lack of compromise
• Tragedies that make you grow apart
It’s time to let go if:
• A relationship is no longer fulfilling
• When you no longer feel love for someone or yours is not reciprocated
• When you realize that the relationship will not grow any further
• When your safety or wellbeing is compromised
Letting go of someone also means protecting yourself. If you are too attached to someone that it affects your daily life, you need to take action and let go. While it may be difficult, facing the pain head-on rather than dragging it out will help you heal faster, allowing you to move on with your life.
Signs You Haven’t Moved On
Moving on is probably one of the hardest things to do after a breakup or the end of a relationship. A breakup is painful, but not realizing it is the end can cause you to hold onto someone who does not want to be with you or will never come back.
A divorce probably takes the longest time to heal. A study revealed that post-break-up stress when a couple is not married starts easing after three months, while a divorce can take more than 18 months. Signs that you’ve not yet moved on include:
• You are still in contact with the other person
• You feel that you can’t live without them
• You are constantly thinking about what they are doing
• You cannot focus on work or school
• You keep on including them in your plans even after they have left you
How to Let Someone Go
No matter what your reason is for letting go of someone you love, the process can be excruciating. But don’t worry: there are a few simple steps that will help you slowly start to heal and find happiness in other places again.
1. Cut All Contact
To begin the healing process after a breakup, you need to cut contact with your ex. This is less of one step and more of an important prerequisite for everything else that follows.
You’ll never be able to heal if you keep someone who hurt so close at hand; therefore, remove phone numbers, pictures, or anything connected directly with them from your life altogether- including all forms of social media like Facebook, etc…
You are not erasing memories but removing any possibility (and excuse) in moments where they might cross our mind again, which could lead us back into being vulnerable towards this person by reaching out next time we’re weak enough!
2. Realize That You’re in Control of Your Feelings and Actions
The most crucial step in overcoming emotional pain is to allow yourself the opportunity to face it head-on. Don’t run from or ignore what you are feeling, but rather be present with those feelings and let them settle naturally over time.
3. Take Better Care of Yourself
Blaming yourself for a failed relationship can slow your recovery process. Instead, try practicing self-love by acknowledging your role in the breakup while reminding yourself that it takes two people to make or break a partnership, and you contributed as much as they did. Quotes about love from famous authors help with learning how to be more loving towards oneself.
4. Stay Busy and Create Meaningful Friendships
Once you’ve built a strong foundation of solace and understanding, start to rebuild. Get back into the world around you; reconnect with loved ones or pursue new passions that will help distract your mind from past wounds. The more time spent living in this present moment without dwelling on the past, the easier it is to move forward.
5. Trust the Process
The truth is there are no quick fixes. Allow yourself to fully experience the loss because it’s a process that requires patience and time management. Take one day at a time, learn not to set expectations too high so you don’t end up disappointed when things go differently than expected.
6. Practice Forgiveness
Now is the time to get really into it. Whatever happens, you need to practice forgiveness because that will sew up your internal wound and help you move on with life. Visualize yourself telling them “I forgive you” or imagining an apology from within yourself, which helps start this process of self-forgiveness working for you.
As you will realize, some days will be easier than others. The heartbreak symptoms such as emotional and physical pain will be overwhelming sometimes, but stay focused on healing and letting go.
One day, all you’ll have are the memories without the pain or regrets. Essential to note, as much as it’s tempting, don’t cyberstalk. Half of Americans confess to cyberstalk a current or ex-partner.
What Happens When You Let Go of Someone?
As you try to let go, pain, anger, and resentment might hold you back, but eventually, you will heal. Sometimes, letting go of someone is the beginning of a new chapter in your life full of happiness, peace, and positivity. When you let go of someone:
• You’ll have more peace
• You’re able to focus on improving your life
• You make room for better and healthier relationships
• The memories are no longer painful
• You no longer depend on that person for your happiness and self-worth
The best thing about letting go is that it allows you to focus on living a happier, more fulfilled life. Forgiveness can also help move your life forward and quicken the healing process, enabling you to take control of your life. Allow yourself to move on and create new memories. You deserve happiness.